The Funniest Steam Reviews to Grace the Internet

Steam’s review system allows users to get a feel for the game before buying it. Others use it as a way to flex their comedy chops!

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Back in 2013, Steam had possibly their best idea in history (besides the formation of Steam itself) when they introduced the user review system. Initially, there were a few problems with the system such as allowing developers of games to leave reviews of their own game (without mentioning they are the devs). Thankfully, Steam enacted a change that forces reviews to show if the product was activated through a product key. On top of that, Steam reviews now include the total time the user spent on the game. All of these aspects to the review system give potential buyers a great resource to look at before purchasing a product. I mean, this entire website and brand essentially revolves around the process of Steam reviews.

However, not all users take the review system seriously. Many people enjoy leaving reviews that are centered around being comical rather than critical. So many people leave these types of comments that the reactions to the question “Was this review helpful?” can either be yes, no, or funny (as seen in the thumbnail). It is a trend that has made me come to love the review section of Steam and makes researching for these articles all the more fun. I’ve compiled a list of some of the funniest ones I have come across while researching for ESG articles. There is no logical way to sequence these reviews so I’ll just put them in a list form with the title of the game coming before the review (with a bit of context). All of the screenshots of the Steam reviews come from the respected review section of the game it is in (also, some of these are arguably NSFW, so be warned). With that out of the way, let’s get into it!

Elden Ring

If you’ve never played Elden Ring, or any souls-like for that matter, the most notable factor for the genre is how difficult they are. I mean, there are a ton of other factors that make a souls-like a souls-like, but the difficulty is about the only concept newer players seem to walk away with. Hence, a LOT of the reviews end up looking like these ones. 

funny Elden Ring Review by SirSkully

While not a necessity, those who enjoy having their balls crushed in a hydraulic press would probably like this game. Because it’s a great game. No other reason…

Funny Elden Ring Steam Review by disco burrito

Oof man, too real :/

Sphiroth's hilarious review of Elden Ring

Yes, I can.

This one blew my mind. First of all, Margit is the first main boss and yet this person has 23 hours. Second, they somehow received a AAA title for free, meaning that they must have been a tester/content creator (unless gifts count as received for free? unsure). However, if they are either of those you’d expect them to at least be able to beat the first boss. Finally, they refunded the game after RECEIVING IT FOR FREE??? Did they just profit $60? My mind is blown.

Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

CS:GO is a tactical shooter that has been around for seemingly forever. It’s a 5v5 FPS that relies heavily on aim, communication, and reaction time. Community members typically love this game as it is a timeless classic many Steam users grew up on. Thus, many of these reviews look at CS:GO in a positive light. 

Cava recommending CSGO in the funniest way possible

If you don’t get this reference, I don’t want to be your friend.

Amusing Counter-Strike: Global Offensive review by Crispy Linder

I never thought about this, the animation is always the same??

Funny CSGO Steam Review

Well played, sir. 

DayZ

DayZ is a survival game in which players have to explore the vast map, collect supplies, gather weapons, and eliminate players/zombies. However, it received (and still does) a ton of flak for having bad (lazy?) developers that take forever to fix bugs, add updates, or do anything really. 

Funny Review of DayZ

I love how it says that Call of Duty (COD) will be on their 19th reskin/game by 2025, presumably due to just how many COD games they make. However, at the time of writing this article (2022), we’ve already hit 19 total COD games and there’s still another three years left. Sorry, what was the joke about again? DayZ? Eh, I’ll always take my chance to hate on COD reskins ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Finn's funny not recommended review for CSGO on Steam

I appreciate this person contextualizing just how much is possible within four years, only to have DayZ devs add some trees. Also, did you actually gratuade high school? 

Phasmophobia

Essentially, this is a survival/horror game centered around visiting houses to hunt down a ghost. While it may not be the scariest game on the market, it definitely has some creepy aspects and features that set it apart from the rest.

Sui's review of Phamophobia on steam

Yep, your microphone is constantly on and ghosts will react to it. This actually could have happened.

FiveNightsAtFuckThis's funny Phasmophobia steam review

Never uwu. Just don’t.

Phasmophobia review

Always ID the ghost, you can never be too careful these days.

Rust

For those who haven’t played Rust, it is a survival game that pits you against a bunch of other players with the only goal being to come out on top. Well, there’s a whole lot more to it than that (check out the in-depth review if you are interested), but that’s the gist of it.

Haha a Rust review by toots

Had to re-read this one.

LOL worthy Rust Review by Nitro987

This hits a bit too close to home. I can actually remember this happening to me when I first started playing. Pro tip, no one’s actually friendly. 

hilariously ambivalent Rust review by zimbabwe

Look under the ‘Recommended’ tag. I’d say ‘a little bit’ is pretty accurate. 

Steam logo over black and white game stills and posters
Image courtesy of pcgamesn.com

I hope you enjoyed this compilation of comical Steam reviews. I’d like to thank all of the wonderful Steam users out there for making the process of researching these articles so much more interesting!

P.S. -  If you’re looking for more reviews, check out r/SteamReviews!

Background/heading image courtesy of pcgamesn.com

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